Die neue Welt in meinem Kopf

Manchmal wuenscht ich, ich waer dumm.
Meine Welt waer einfach und klar,
Nichts drehte sie herum,
nichts macht sie sonderbar.

Ich wuenscht ich wuesste nichts.
Wer einfaeltig und seicht,
ein simples Angesicht
mir zum hassen reicht

Die Welt waer schwarz und weiss.
Und nichts kaeme dazwischen.
Kein elaborierter Scheiss,
nichts koennt mein Bild verwischen.

Es gaebe feste Wahrheit
und Zweifel waeren tot.
Ich haette alle Klarheit
und zudem keine Not.

Ich wuesste was Recht ist
und unrecht ebenso.
Ich waere ein Faschist,
vierschroetig und roh.

Doch leider hab ich Zweifel
und denke auch zuviel
Egal was ich tu und will
alles ist zu subtil

Ich kenn zu viel Personen
aus aller Herren Rassen.
Ich will sie nicht verschonen,
doch kann ich sie nicht hassen.

Nur wegen lausiger Pigmente
oder 'geboren am falschen Platz'
ist unsre Freundschaft noch lang nicht zu Ende
nehm ich nicht Teil an einer Menschenhatz

Ich weiss auch das Wahrheit
ist tausendfaeltig und subtil
es gibt gar keine Klarheit
es kommt immer drauf an was man will

Doch Religion und falsche Lehren
geben uns den falschen Schein.
So sollen wir entbehren,
und gluecklich damit sein.

Doch Schluss mit dieser Vormacht
auf in ein neues Reich
wo keiner sich noch vormacht
wir waeren alle gleich

In nicht vorhandner Wahrheit
mag ein mancher mehr gruen als blau
und auch so recht verschieden
ist mehr als Mann und Frau

Wenn schwarz ich mich nun kleide
dann bin ich einem Keck
dem andren tuts nicht zuleide
der schaut ganz einfach weg

Die Welt in Ihrer Falschheit
hat Gemeinsamkeit uns gelehrt
Doch wo bin ich individuell
sehen die anderen mich als verkehrt

Weil ich nicht passe
in das Konzept 'Normal'
Verkehrt weil ich nicht fasse
Wozu leiden diese Qual

Warum so sein wie jedermann?
Warum die Menge suchen?
Bin ich wirklich besser dran,
wenn niemand tut mir fluchen?

Ich ueberlass es Dir
Deinen eignen Schluss zu finden
Es gibt so viel dagegen und dafuer
Nur Du kannst Dich ergruenden


Die neue Welt hat weder Falsch noch Gut
Die neue Welt braucht einfach Deinen Kopf und Deinen Mut

Check this out

Hi all!

I like this idea:

http://librivox.org/

Free books for all and you can even read them to others.
Check it out!

Euer el T ... the book lover

Trying to live in hell ... err ... Amsterdam

I tell you, it is that bad. For a dirthole they charge you 400 Euro here, and believe it or not, they get that!
I have seen a really bad place for a really "good" (= a lot!) price and the girl told me that she has had over seventy people interested in it.
The hottest thing was so far that I got an offer to stay in one room (for 350 Euro per month) with another girl (very cute actually). This would have meant we would have slepped in the same room ... just imagine ... a complete stranger sleeping next to you. It is that crazy over here. The living situation is really very bad. One coworker told me that she was moving for 3 and a half years until she found her place ... so still some years to go for me ...

el T

Eine Entschuldigung

Hiermit moechte ich mich bei allen entschuldigen, deren Filme und Bilder ich ohne Erlaubnis benutzt und veroeffentlicht habe.
Alle Bilder oder Videos werden auf Wunsch entfernt.
Zudem moechte ich anmerken, dass mir nicht daran gelegen war irgendjemanden (ausser mir) blosszustellen, laecherlich zu machen oder zu verunglimpfen.
Mein Ansinnen war lediglich meine Freunde in aller Welt an meinem Leben teilhaben zu lassen.
Mein Leben, ist neben Arbeit und schlafen, massgeblich von und mit meinen Freunden gepraegt, wo immer diese sich auch befinden.
Daher kommen diese auch in Bildmaterial und Videos vor.
Jedoch werde ich in Zukunft darauf achten keine Menschen ohne deren Einverstaendnis zu filmen / fotografieren, oder, sollte dies geschehen, dieses Material nicht zu veroeffentlichen.

Noch einmal moechte ich mich fuer meine Taten entschuldigen, welche aber, wie bereits gesagt, in keinster Weise eine boese Absicht beinhalteten.

Euer Tobias, alt wie ne Kuh und lernt immer noch dazu ...

I GOT A FLAT !!!

Dear friends and family,

I GOT A FLAT, well, I can move in at the earliest mid November but there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Besides that, I'm sitting in 'my' Church there same Indians celebrate something.
Isn't that great? I do not have to go out into the world, the world comes to me.
I just make the best out of it, but I would rather go to bed ... just one more month to go and then I'm all by myself.
Actually, I have to take in a roommate as I cannot afford the place on my own, but I hope that will went well also. After all I know that rooms are scarce here in Amsterdam, so I should be able to find someone I can get along with (and I can get along with a lot of people) soon.

So, thats it for now.

I will update you later about the details and also check out the videos, in order to keep yourself informed about me and my whereabouts.

Euer

el T

Picture 1: The CPG Team, me (with beard shaved off, but for some reason, I think I even look more grown up that way), Bettina (our ex-boss), Yanard (he is from the Netherlands), Henrike (German) and Sebastian (Austrian).

Picture 2: Me, with an evil grin, but I actually like my appearance, I look so mature, Sebastian and Yanard.

Picture 3: Me, Bettina, Yanard, Henrike and Sebastian again.

Picture 4: This is Andreas with LaTOYa, he is working her hard, poor girl.

The other side

Dear friends,

I want first and foremost apologise that I have not been able to visit all of you last weekend (this goes especially for my Canadian friends ... ; )
As you will see on youtube, I tried to make the most out of this very wet weekend, even when my father tried to occupy most of my time.

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=elTMorales

Today, my old throwing knife, which I carry with me for cutting oranges and such, got seized by the police as they made mass searchings in the Metro today. I was not aware of the fact that this (carrying a knife, even in your backpack) is illegal over here.
So beware about this. It is not so much the fine (about 50 Euro, the knife was worth about 30) I have to pay, it is more loosing an old companion of mine.
Sometimes I feel everything is just taken from me.
But yes, I'm still blessed and doing better than most of the people in this world.
Just sometimes it takes so long for things ...
For example, I have a bank account now (if you wanna send me some money, I'm happy to provide the details ... ; ) but I did not got my card yet, so I cannot access my money.
Instead I got (sent to me by mail) a key chain and some toys ...
I do not need that crap, I just want access to my money.
Things like that annoy me. The same goes with my health insurance. Something went wrong and the guy who helped me to get it is now on vacation for two weeks ... everything is really slow here.
I do not even wanna start about finding a place ...
Something else makes me think too. Actually Dawn did point this out.
I'm grateful that I can stay at this church (as I do not have real access to my funds it is even good in a way as I do not have to pay rent), but for "some" reason I'm not able to find a place within the church congregation.
This is strange. Maybe, only maybe, and I have to be careful to address this, but it might be because I'm white.
Kind of strange to see what it is like to look different and just not fit in because of the color of the skin. I have left this thing so far behind me that Dawn (who is black or as she prefers "brown") has to state this to me.
Strange, but as I have said, I'm still blessed.
Nevertheless, I miss my privacy and living out of the suitcase for over 2 weeks now is tiring me out as well.

So please pray for me, that I will find something soon.

Your friend in need (who's still a friend indeed).

el T Morales

My own prison

Today, as I went to the shower, one of the doors to get there slammed shut and I was trapped.
I have had to wait for SEVEN !!! hours until somebody came to free me (from 9 to 4).
This day was over ... at least I learned to appreciate my Freedom more.
Next time I take my cell phone with me in the shower.

Besides that, I'm well and keep on looking for a place. It gets tiresome to life out of the suitcase ...

Your

Tobias

Proof of life

Things got a little bit strange in the house where I was staying, so now I sleep in the church:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-m2GNw4B1VU

I'm alive and well

Hello all!

I made it to Amsterdam\the old world. An hour to late but nevertheless without any problems.
I was taken from the airport by Victor from the Church I found over here.
Currently I life with a couple but have to find another place soon, so I will relocate again and might be off line again, but ... with all the open nets around here and my new computer who finds them without any trouble, I might be not ... ; )

Tobias

Relocation - Amsterdam here I come

My Dear Friends, wherever you are!

Today I want to officially announce my relocation to the old world.
On September the 14th I will pack my things and go.
I will move to Amsterdam to fill a position at NCR.
Once again a relocation, but this time not because of a female, the stumbling blocks of my past.
It seems that I finally "got it" and get my life under control.
2 years Montreal have been a tremendous experience.
I drew a lot from this town and it's people.
I will leave here with a laughing and a crying eye.
But nothing is forever anyway, nothing is as consistent as change.
But I feel very good with this move. It seems like the right thing to do now.
2 years healed a lot of wounds, even if the scares might stay for life.
No one goes through trouble without being affected by it.
Now I'm divorced ... even as I have wished so much for a second chance, but not my will will be done.
Now I'm free to move wherever the wind of chance is blowing me.
I'm excited to start this position in Amsterdam, as it is a big global corporation I might be able (if I manage to work my way up) to see different countries and still stay within the same company.
We shall see about that, as mentioned above, everything changes, always.
Another thing which is quite nice is that Amsterdam has one of the biggest airports in Europe, so that I will be quite easy to visit for you as well as you are in good reach for me.
Finally I might be able to fulfill my threat and visit you ... one after another.

So my friends, for some it will be a good bye in the coming weeks, for some it will be a "Hello".

Your friend truly

el T Morales

(http://www.youtube.com/user/elTMorales)

Picture 1: Mary, Dawn and me, dancing the night away (actually taking a breath in this picture ...)

Picture 2: Valerie and me dancing the night away

Picture 3: Dawn and me, dancing the night away

Picture 4: Joanne, me and Mary ... this picture is ... well, staged.
I was never close to one of them. As much as I would have liked to get to know them, I never got a chance.
Besides that I got a chance to learn about being rejected, and learnt that it is not worth chasing after ones who are not interested in me. Didn't I mentioned that I've learned a lot over here?